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# When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

# Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

# There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

# Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

# Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

# Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

# Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

# Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

# There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

# When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

# Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

# Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

# There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

# Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

# Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

# Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

# Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

# Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

# Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

# Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

"Je mets les pieds où je veux, Little John... et c'est souvent dans la gueule."

"Si tu oses encore te repointer, tu peux être sûr que tu repartiras avec ta bite dans un tupperware."

"Si tu te pointes encore, tu peux être sûr que tu repars avec la bite dans un tupperware"
Faux fan.

Loooooooool.



Lol, c'est con putain...

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# Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

-Chuck devant un livre...Rien que ça...

# Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
# Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
# Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

-lol

# When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Celui-là il est énorme !

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Liam Engle: réalisateur et scénariste

Clair!

Merci bien pour ce fou rire du matin !
*ou comment se taper l'affiche dans un "open space"...*

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face.

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

Enorme lol.

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J'adore celles sur le roundhouse kick, elles sont énormes.

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

Je crois que tu vas me donner l'adresse du (ou des) site(s) parce que là, il faut.

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http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com